Won't go back to the 80's-can't make me!
If a Blog posts in the forest does it still make an impact?
Be Prepared for the unexpected
Driving in the Left Lane
So this morning, I’m in my car on my way to work on the phone, adjusting my makeup, doing my taxes…just minding my own business when all of a sudden….
I see a large black S.U.V. in my rear view mirror directly on my tail, manically bobbing and weaving to pass me-what was his problem? His car looked like it was doing the worm. I then see him struggling to maneuver himself to get alongside of me.
Someone should really report his agitating driving habits, I thought as I took a bite of my bagel and made another call.
Glancing back, I saw that he was still struggling frantically three minutes later. I finished off my coffee and went rummaging thru my bag in search of my tweezers.
Out of the corner of my right eye, I saw that he had finally reached his desired parallel.
His face was beet red and his eyes were bugging out.
I saw him struggling fiercely to roll down his window before our car door handle-holding broke, AND SHOUTED…
‘HEY! How’s the gas mileage on that Element?’
Didn’t see that one coming did you?
Surprise left lane questions can really jar.
Unexpected interview questions can have the same effect. Often times, interviewers will attempt to shake things up a bit (perhaps to save themselves from interview boredom hell) and ask questions that you are not expecting just to see your reaction.
What would you do if ….How would you handle …..If you owned your own company how would you …Who do you admire…What constitutes a great boss and why?...If you were a fruit, which one would you be?...etc.
Sometimes people just like to voyeur our emotions to test our levels of stress and composure. Always remember to expect the unexpected.
I once asked an applicant what she would do if she won the lottery just to test her reactive skills (kind of like the Miss America Pageant) and also to see if she was really paying attention. It momentarily shook her out of her job interview reverie and I actually got to see a glimmer of the real person that was hiding out in there.
Who doesn’t have a set plan and flowchart for their imminent lottery windfall? (We revise ours at least once a week.)
I am a huge fan of reiterating that we are all human underneath our professional exteriors. Some of us are even fun. Make no mistake, there will always be the stiff and stodgy Sticks Must Shoot Out Of Her Ass When She Sneezes Interviewer but keep an eye out for the more down to earth operators who interview by instinct and not always by the book.
You can’t always spot them under their well manicured suits.
Getting back to the applicant, her shield briefly lowered and I felt the victory of legally breaking into her stiff composure without an arrest. We had a very pleasant and real interview from that point on. I saw her mentally throw her script away and choose candid off the cuff responses (which she was amply qualified to do) as she did not know what other unexpected questions would come up. She was extremely witty and a pretty good spontaneous question juggler. I hired her. Still works with me.
Until she wins the lottery of course.
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(Did you know Gray/Grey is Bi and can go both ways legally? just looked it up)
I love speaking in color. Such a universal language. Conversing in hues can brightly spark even the dullest of senses. Ah, the Black heart, a Yellow belly or a White hot rage. Such power in color!
Grey is one of those colors often left undefined. No riveting accompanying quotes other than blah, depressing, drab or unknownare associated with grey.
We deal in many shades of grey throughout our lives. In relationships, conversations, as well as favorite underwear gone up to white heaven.
Grey is having the perfect resume, the most professional and flattering interviewing outfit, answering all interview questions without a stutter or a spit and possessing all of the necessary job qualifications and yet still not getting the job.
So why didn’t you get the job?
Haven’t we all had this happen to us at least once?
We never do find out the true answers to this question because the H.R. person is trained to speak in grey. I believe it is their primary language used as to not implicate any discrimination or poor hiring practices. Wouldn’t want that now would we?
So generally, we never obtain the true reason for not getting the job (unless a friend gets a job within the company and gets the scoop later on the D.L.).
We usually just file the question of Why? under Who Knows or Oh Well, Their Loss.
It is unfortunate that we don’t always feel inclined to dig for the gray answers and often are content with the unknown.
In the black and white world, you can follow all of the advice of what to do or not to do, what to say or not to say for an interview but, in the end, there are no guarantees that you will get the job (even if you follow the expert advice to the letter).
Expert advice comes in many forms. I personally love the advice that comes from experienced people. People who have walked in my shoes. Folks who have practiced what they preach and have been successful in their efforts. I’ll take their advice any day.
I tend to shy away from the stodgy, robotic by-the-book advice that sounds fabulous on paper and looks positively lovely in print, but doesn’t always work out as smoothly in person.
Most advice is meant with the best intentions. To arm you with all of the necessary tools to succeed and conquer but sometimes, the truth is, some advice givers have been giving and not living for quite awhile and tend to get a little stale in the real world department.
Shelling out advice can be easy. Living the advice is a bitch.
Kind of like having married girlfriends giving you dating advice.
So why doesn’t even the best advice work?
When you studied for a test in school, weren’t you were rewarded with a high grade for your rigorous efforts?
Shouldn’t a job interview yield the same results?
You Self-Help yourself to death trying to ace the job interview and yet come up short.
Why? Good advice right? Comes from the Experts right?
Well, the reason that there will never be a guaranteed result, no matter which advice you choose to take, is that common variable in all interviews….. people.
Personalities. Moods. Likes. Dislikes. Prejudices. Judgments. Pre-determined expectations. Objections, etc.
Unpredictable.
All Gray.
We must not forget to color in the human factor!
It is always the primary shade on the interaction palette.
We are all human beneath our professional gray costume exteriors.
Be careful of becoming to robotic on interviews. So focused on theright things to say that you forget that there is a unique humaninterviewer sitting in front of you.
Make a vast attempt to read that other person quickly and acclimate yourself to their specific personality.
Not every job interview will be same because of the different human personality brush strokes involved each time. Learn to tweak the advice as needed for each interview. Don’t go in thinking it will be the same as the last one.
It won’t always be that black or white.
A sharp interviewer knows a pre-written script when they hear it.
It could turn them off to you and you won’t even know it (they are all the right answers after all).
Become an artist of personality.
Make Grey Bi and beautiful!
Follow the Leader 
Who remembers their First?
Was it a fabulous mind blowing experience?
One that you will always treasure?
Or was it a complete and horrible mess? An experience that you could not wait to erase?
How do you remember your First…..job?
What did you think I was talking about?
In most cases, our first experiences are the ones that stick with us. They make the initial cuts into our personal molds that begin to sculpt us as the person we will eventually turn out to be.
Our parents obviously are our first teachers, but they must eventually hand us off to the school system leaving us all open for a myriad of educational firsts.
I remember my first great school teachers as the ones who taught me the most.
With more adult clarity, it would now be defined as the ones that forced me to learn.
My Great Teacher category would certainly not include those whose teaching skills were half hearted and tepid at best.
I loved the teachers that pushed me.
The ones who encouraged me to live up to my full potential, even when I didn’t feel like it –which was always. The ones who made me write and write until I learned to stop complaining about it and just do it. The ones who helped form my solid work and study habits that would last a lifetime.
There are a few standout teachers that I truly remember for those attributes. The others are just watery grade memories.
Entering into the real world, my teachers were eventually replaced by bosses.
As a brand new employee, I was anxious to learn and grow and I was willing to be shape shifted into anything that they needed me to be.
I was a clean slate.
I watched, listened and learned as I got a taste of how the real work world went.
One of my first jobs as a teenager was at an all salad restaurant (ahead of its time back in the day). It was a brand new facility on the boulevard and my brother and I were lucky to land jobs making salads and dressings for the customers. They had the most awesome cucumber dill dressing that I had ever tasted. Nothing compares to date.
The owners were strict but fair and we absolutely loved the tight ship that they ran. We came home and excitedly reported to our mother things like ‘and when you sneeze you have to run downstairs and wash your hands’ or ‘if you’re late, you can’t work your shift until the next day’ or ‘If you don’t follow their dressing recipes exactly, you can get fired’.
Stupendous dill dressing does have its standards.
Who would have thought that kids relished in the pride that came from being a crew member of a tightly run ship? How lucky we were to have been given a lesson in supreme work ethic right out of the gate.
I remember them making a point of praising us in front of others and when there were directional issues that needed be addressed, always doing that privately.
Sounds simple right?
Such an easy recipe for managing people; Praise publically, Pounce in private.
Why is it that so many leaders forget this necessary ingredient for awesome Dill dressing?
Steady, strong and fair leadership was what we respected. We were only ever required to do the best job possible and consequently, we worked vigorously to earn extra praise each day, as an additional reward from our bosses.
Without the consistent follow up of the rules and regulations of what was expected of us, we would have all been allowed to flounder and eventually slack. OMG what a horrible standard to set! Instead we were given strict and fair guidelines and a paycheck as a reward for a job well done.
As I grew and moved on, I found that the same theories of teacher greatnessstill applied themselves in bosses, supervisors, managers, leaders of leaders and owners of companies.
I have had my share of terrible bosses. They have also unknowingly shaped me into what I am today. And that is the antithesis of what they were.
Whenever I felt that I was treated unfairly or with poor choice communication, I would sock those feelings away and swear that I would never make anyone feel that same way, if I were ever in their position. And eventually, I sure as hell was.
My greatest bosses, and I was extremely lucky to have a handful, were the ones who strived to make me better. These true leaders were phenomenal at developing those below them into becoming great leaders themselves. They possessed exceptional patience and a real passion for training.
They taught me all that they knew (without fear of being overthrown with this new found knowledge) and then delegated full responsibility to me when I was ready, allowing me to soar or fall all based upon my own efforts.
They were competent and skilled managers who have been in my shoes and were specifically chosen because they proved that they were suitably qualified to lead.
As I continued to grow into a skilled qualified leader, I found myself emulating many of their wonderful qualities. My eventual success, in my desired field, was a direct reflection on them and I was proud to shine on their stage.
My success equaled their success.
Am I mistaken to assume that a boss should be the same as a really great teacher? One who assigns responsibilities and tasks, enforces rules and regulations, guides and teaches. Listens? Molds? Develops? Takes suggestions without fear of losing commanding ground? Someone who possesses the lions’ share of your respective field experience, as well as the ability to pass on that knowledge in the most constructive and helpful manner possible?
This recipe for great leadership is not such a tall order. There are manystatuesque individuals out there proving it day in and day out.
I will say that remembering all of your bad experiences is definitely a good thing. They will help lead you in better directions throughout your entire life. Ex-boyfriends not excluded.
Keep your eyes wide open in recognizing a good path not just for its lack of past bad attributes but for its potential future possibilities.
Many thanks to those leaders who scored the deeply ingrained pride and work ethic notches into my own personal clay.
This is my first blog. EVER.
Can you tell?
I almost started this blog with Dear Diary for fear that nobody will read it but me. Still may happen but at least I am fully entertained. Talking to myself ... writing to myself, what's the difference?
I am very new to the Web world but not at all a newbie to the inner workings of the job market. I am a Human Resources manager. I also have over 20 + years of professional working experience. All of my experience is now slowly being poured into grandmasunderwear.com.
I created grandmasunderwear.com to help all those out there who are actively (or even thinking about) looking for a job. My site is fully loaded with sound, realistic advice on how to nail that next job interview from an HR professional's point of view (me).
It is also highly entertaining BTW.
Who couldn't use a laugh here and there as we travel to and from job interviews that may or may not pan out? But watch out, you might learn something!
Below are ramblings but in a way relevant to all things pain in the ass (like having grandmas underwear).
Go to the site to see how this name came about. Girls, you are going to love this!
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I am waiting to be called in for Jury Duty, I figured that this would be the best time to write my first Blog for Grandmasunderwear.com because it is proof positive that if the Bee-aach who is taking a the incoming names can get a job, anyone can.
Who interviews these people? Wasn't me, that's for damn sure.
Do you have to be snotty and dismissive in order to work in a government building. Is that a job requirement?
Or do they just progressively become a product of their environment, due to the other Bee-aachy co-workers?
I personally think they walked in that way and only grew more bitchy in amongst the other inhabitants.
Maybe I am just mad at myself because I wasn't smart enough to get out of Jury Duty and I have to sit here today as well as be on call for the rest of the week.. I'd already postponed it once -thought they would forget about me after that but obviously here I sit.
Since I have plenty o time to sit, I might as well try to be constructive. How constructive would it be for the guy next to me to have added just a touch more deodorant this morning? I would certainly would have appreciated it.
Eyes off my laptop schlomo.
Perhaps, if I can summon the nerve, I will take a short poll on what excuses they all used to try to get out of the lawyers picking them for a Jury.
By the way, saying that you prefer your cats to people doesn't work. Just tried it.
These damn slicky lawyers.
Really, I believe that I would make an excellent Juror. I consider myself extremely fair minded, and can judge a situation clearly without predudice. I won't tell them that, of course.
Being fair and impartial is part of my daily H.R. routine at work. Wonder how they are managing without me today?
They sweated a little bit when I told them that I was on call for Jury Duty last week.
OMG, who will call in the payroll ????
Don't worry, Chief. Got it covered.
I would actually like to get paid this week myself.
Oh and BTW, $40.00/day for Jury Duty does not cut it Obama. Kindly add this to our wish list.
I promised myself that I would hit the Publish key on my website, grandmasunderwear.com once my first blog was completed. I just wanted to get it all together first.
Well, that will never happen.
I have been having the best time putting the site together. I have so much more in my head that I need to get on there, but if I wait to until I feel that I finally have it all on the site, I feel I might be waiting forever to hit the button. So I'm holding my nose and launching and will happily add on as I go.
Jotting down all of your work experiences (and opinions) apparently takes time.
Had no idea how much mental storage I have filled (good thing I don't pay monthly fees).
Grandmasunderwear.com a.k.a., all things pain in the ass from getting your period to finding, keeping a job and everything in between and after is now up and running. More adequate explanation of the on the site on my home page.
The site is as homegrown as they come, done on my own free time and of my own free will.... with much more to come.
hope you guys enjoy it!
contact me: contactme@grandmasunderwear.com
But please, let’s leave the negative feedback where it belongs shall we?
On EBAY.
Oh EBAY…the financially based, Mafia that pits human nature against human nature on a minute by minute basis. Thus, leaving all poor humans to fend for themselves
Ripleys Believe It or Not Question: Have you
ever tried to make contact with a real human on Ebay??? Nobody ever has ever been able to achieve this impossible feat and nobody ever will.
Our own humanity cannot help but explore all aspects of our
fragile traits for the financial pleasure of this silent Soprano group.
Where else can you see completely, self-policed…fear,
vengeance, frustration,ambition, gambling, greed and goodwill to man all housed under one cyber
roof?
A place where humans quiver and sweat out the ominous Negative
Feedback and can only breathe a sigh of
relief when their feedback rating visibly increases in the positive direction
one slow number at a time.
Waiting for the all upsetting negative feedback is almost as horrible as when it actually comes (kinda like getting knocked off, I would imagine).
Your Ebay career DOOMED in seconds! Oh my.
There is no going back. You are now a tainted member. You will never be viewed with the same trust again. Might as well wear a scarlet E on your chest…..
Come on, Say it with me….you can do it…..
’Big Sh*t’ who
cares???.
I told them to ask all
questions PRIOR to bidding damn it!
Oh how did us mere mortals get sucked into this horrifying mental
vacuum??
Greed, ambition, gambling and curiosity ..that’s how. We are human. Can’t help it.
Smart cookies those mafia guys.
TIPS FOR SMOKERS!
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